Going to blow?

my parents separated when i was 15. they dont want me to tell other peaple. i'm the eldest so i have to take a lot of responsiblity now. since then i've changed. my grades dop, lost my interest in my hobbies, I've become more solitude and depressed. i'm the type of person that doesn't open up to people. its been difficult for me to live under a mask. i'm having a major exam, can't decide whether to get confirmed in church, and i found out recently that I have a crush on the same . It's been very confusing for me. I don't want to dissapoint my family...