Can anyone help me? im giving up...slowly but surely?

ime coming on yahoo answers is almost like a last resort option and im not really sure how i can put this but i even find what i am doing is bizarre and not normal, yet i continue to do it, im a 19 year old, good looking (seriously) , the way i interact and socialize with women is something that when i think about it, it makes me laugh because i know how dumb i am acting. I think i am a normal, i play baseball in college, and i hung out with the "popular kids" when i was in high school, so its not like i wasn't a like able person, because believe me i am. when it comes to women ive always been the one that doesnt get asked to give advice, because i am totally clueless and very unexperienced when it comes to that subject, ive only had one girlfriend, ive always found that it is much easier and less humiliating if girls approach guys first. thats the way my strategy has worked for along as i can remember. everything just seems to foreign and unnatural to me. i didnt grow up in a home that was isolated to , i can honestly say my life has been almost as normal as it possibly could. i never really had any restrictions or rules on what i couldnt do growing up. i have always been the type of person talks to girls but, when it comes down time to intimate i just like freeze up and my mind starts spinning in like a thousand directions and everything seems so unnatural to me. ive only had one girlfriend, just recently and i didnt workout to well. i had her make all the first moves because i wasnt ever in a relationship before so i didnt know what to expect and or do. i had never been in a relationship before, because i would always refuse to go up to a girl and talk to her when i know that she is into me and i honestly dont have the slightest clue. anyways, i was a virgin, obviously, and she wasnt, she wanted to have , i was scared, and would only be intimate with her when i was drunk. it wasnt that i wasnt attracted to her, because i really was. she was one of the best looking girls in school and even tons of guys told me i was very lucky to be with her. but this wasnt new to me, ive had very beautiful girls be into me all the time, but now, ive grown the lingering sterotype of a "" well long story short, we eventually broke up because i only had with her once. LOL like a ****** idiot, im such a dumb i should have ****** her way more times. not to sound arrogant and like a jerk, even though i know it may sound like that. anyways, i swore to myself that i would never deny ever again, because i was very angry on how the way things ended. well i was hooking up with this pretty hot girl tonight, and i really wasnt enjoying it, she was like me and she didnt have a shirt on so it was kind of nice to see some tities, and i didnt have a *****, so im nto gay. but in the middle of it i just open my eyes, and my mind goes blank, and so does my facial expression, and i was only thinking like" wow this isnt event cool" she told me she wanted to **** me, but i pussed out and didnt ask her if she wanted to come back to my house with me. i have so many opportunities to get girls and or get into a relationship with them, but i somehow choose to always not to. it doesnt really hit me what i have really done until after and it pisses me off. so i just got home from going out and im pretty sure i got from this idiot because my throat feels like its swollen now! and im pissed, but i just want to know what is going on with me cus i have no game at all